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Lockdown — could it be the longest collective sexual dry spell our country has ever seen? Banned from leaving the house, those quarantining without a partner have been missing out on all those things Marvin Gaye sang about for at least four weeks, with another two on the horizon.

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Swipe Right is our advice column that tackles the tricky world of online dating.

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This week: how to find a semi-regular hookup — and avoid scary messages. I am 37, a single mom and am looking to find someonebut not a boyfriend.

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After years of slowly losing my mojo and sexual confidence, I am slowly rediscovering my drives and desires and now want to find someone to explore that with. I am looking for a semi-regular hookup with someone I can get to know over time and explore my sexuality, but I am not ready to actually meet someone for the longer term.

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How on earth do I ask for this on an app like Tinder without getting scary messages? Good for you.

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This is a great start! I have long believed that the secret to finding a lasting partnership is less about meeting the one but rather about meeting some one who you find attractive and interesting but who also — and this is crucial — wants the same kind of relationship that you do at the same time that you want it. Being real friends-with-benefits requires the highest level of emotional honesty and communication in order to make the parameters of the relationship clear and avoid hurt feelings.

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Your point that advertising this on your profile may elicit creepy messages is not an irrelevant one, but I do think for maximum efficiency you should be pretty clear that you are looking for something casual because of your existing commitments. And you do want someone who is very sex-positive. If your tastes run to the kinky, you could also consider investigating in apps and sites that are more open about their focus on sex, such as Fetlife.

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Good luck! Swipe right: online dating for the real world Dating.

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I want a casual hookup, not a relationship — how do I say that on Tinder? This week: how to find a semi-regular hookup — and avoid scary messages Got your own online dating quandaries?

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Swipe Right Illustration: Celine Loup. Thu 12 Nov Dear Eva, I am 37, a single mom and am looking to find someonebut not a boyfriend. Basically, I want someone to have sex with and not much else.

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Hey, you. Love, Eva. Reuse this content.

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